With a bit 'late, the receLOL a new CatastroMovie!
We know the numbers '2 'of any film are never at the numbers '1' and "Twister 2" , of course, is no exception.
Take off the head it has something to do with 'Twister 1', unfortunately for him.
The film opens with the first-LOL scenes where, lost in the countryside planted with wheat, there is an old farm (ia-ia-oh!) that is being destroyed by a tornado. Inside Mother and Son's farm (do not know who is more intelligent, perhaps the Scarecrow in the garden) watching the approaching tornado.
Now, it is clear that the tornado is far enough and they have plenty of time to take place safely, MA!, And MadreGenio FiglioMenagramo love risk and remain at home until, practically, the tornado is not going to fall him.
Suddenly, waking from the trance, blurts MadreGenio: "Son! We have to go, we can not stay here! " (I told you he was a genius!) Throws FiglioMenagramo
But there's pearl of wisdom and hope: "we'll never no! E 'already too late! "
As everyone knows, in parts of Tornado Alley, the Americans have a cellar to go into hiding when the alarm comes twister, and our two morons that is where they are going, * Ooops * but that bad luck, a light pole just fell right on-the cellar door, blocking the passage.
So what?
What to do?
Where to go? What other places
postrebbero be secure against a tornado that completely destroyed the house, barn and all the beasts of MacDonald?!
But beneath the thresher! Where else!
Because, you know, tornadoes can flatten whole houses, but can do nothing against threshers.
...
* facepalm *
MadreGenio FiglioMenagramo and run to go hide under 'is already a threshing machine and wonder how the hell does the tornado portaseli not have a walk when the cloud of dust in the wake of the base virtually: they should be sucked .
Magic?
No, it's a bit 'the same principle that was the basis for "Magma: The Disaster" : paradoxes.
accept it for what they are and move forward. In the melee
FiglioMenagramo can hide beneath the thresher while MadreGenio is caught by updrafts and is being pulled away, BUT!: unable to cling to the hand of FiglioMenagramo that minimum is called Hercules to be able to counteract the force of a tornado (F3 likely, given the damage). In the end, wins the tornado, the mother disappears into the vortex and the child saves.
The first impression after watching this LOL-scene was: "LMAO! But it is absurd! " and in fact, everything turns out to be the result of a story that the son of the protagonist is telling buddies to try to scare them. At that, well I've pulled a sigh of relief thinking "Ahhhh! But then There is some hope ... "Hope dies
even five minutes later when he learns that this story, the marmocchietto, a neighbor told it to him, good old Zack Bayside School, Here we find that - fortunately! - Tuft without oxygen. Guess
riddle?
The story is true, and he was the FiglioMenagramo MadreGenio was his mother.
does not seem to have suffered a lot from this loss. Certainly was not going to tell a little boy of 12 years, just for sport.
of him discover that he became a policeman, who does all the neighborhood and that is a ribbbbelle. From now on then he will become: PoliziottoFigo.
PoliziottoFigo has become, for its ability to whisk the whole city, the model's child protagonist who turns out to be a little nymphomaniac who is courting the PopputaBabysitter.
Nymphomaniac has a mother who is no po-po less than the Chuck Norris films catastrophic, keep in mind because we find it again.
Chuck Norris is the director of the nuclear power plant located just outside the city, and is supported by these and Neville Potter.
No, not the plant is called Hogwarts, but Neville is nerd and Potter is stupid, just like the originals.
Neville's got a bit 'with Chuck because he was due to him that it would be up unit command and is convinced that just because you have chosen is female and enforce a level playing field for American.
Chuck Norris is blonde, athletic, makes 3-point baskets without batting an eyelid, is a moralist like all texas ranger (XD) and two sottosotto Bottarelli PoliziottoFigo to give them to him. But
PoliziottoFigo also has its own trouble: do not agree with the police chief because it was the ex-boyfriend of the daughter (and I defy anyone not to have become her ex after only three seconds FigliaDelCapo bitch is as few as sour sauce gone bad, do some 'you).
Everything seems to be calm in the town of Tennessee, when a sudden tornado alarms are branched due to poor weather conditions.
course (s) luck would have it, a couple that just hit the plant and then Chuck Norris can finally give his best to save the situation. As expected, little by little all the systems stop working, the plant is isolated from central command and the specialized team, incidentally, can not reach because of bad weather, therefore, our heroes must save alone.
And part of the symbol: "In the eyes of a ranger, the unsuspecting stranger Had better know the truth of wrong from right. 'Cause the eyes of a ranger are upon youuuuuuuuu, Any wrong you do, he's gonna seeeeeeee. When you're in Texas, look behind youuuuuuu, Because That's where the rangers gonna be. "
Chuck is not that you lose heart, but it is very deficient with the ability to make things worse when already ; are going to collapse. Not that it is flanked by making people better, mind you. For example, after the normal telephone lines are skipped, jumped and the satellite phones do not take within the Central, the only way to get in touch with those of the central office through an antediluvian radio that works only if it remains outside the building.
eh?! O_o
That is ... with all the mess that is going on outside ... You, PoliziottoFigo, what leads to the nuclear power plant to keep in touch with the rest of the world?
a radio that only works if you are outside the building?! Where the tornado rages?! The
powerful means of Tennessee may also spend a little more, eccheccazzo! What then, I have tried to understand why 'is radio only work outside ... Mica I understood it. It 's a black box with microphone and nothing else.
All right, however, the radio PoliziottoFigo door to Chuck, it is recommended that to make it work you have to be outside and goes to look for nymphomaniac who was at home with PopputaBabysitter to play 'Twister' (how ironic) because in this way can the girl's boobs look better (I told you it was nymphomaniac !!!).
Chuck starts talking with the head office and agree with them saying that they would be heard every 15 minutes to keep them informed.
Now.
O thou woman that you know that antediluvian radio is all that allows you to interact with the world: after you have spoken with the head office, from 1 to 10 as you're smart if you leave it unattended, the front door wide open universe where the wind lifts the world as if nothing had happened? -273
as Absolute Zero?
Obviously, the situation falls and a failure of pumps that are used constantly to cool the spent fuel rods could create a nuclear disaster, because if the tank water evaporates, making the bar days, then half the radiation invade Tennessee.
What to do?!
Chuck runs to call those of the general command e. .. SURPRISE! The radio is no more! * O * I wonder why! * O * I wonder why! * O * Who knows! * O * Magic! Maybe we're really at Hogwarts! Among Potter and Neville and also a guy named Manolo (nervitesimuscoliallospasmo) I'm not surprised.
Actually, I was convinced that would solve the problem with a "Stupeficius" (so all passed out and no damage was!), But no matter.
Chuck decides to channel the water used to cool the reactor core at the pumps, but to do so, please close the reactor itself. Ok, sounds easy. Bad luck has it that the reactor can not be stopped by the station because the computers are fried and then must be switched off by hand, then decided to double the water pressure to gain time. Obviously, the device manually to stop the reactor is located right where the loss of water and water in the ass supreme, it is radioactive.
while Chuck, and Neville Potter Quidditch have worn the uniforms and remain there watching wondering what the losses between a Cruciatus an Avada Kedavra and Imperium is more effective to send the unit upside down, Manolo (nervitesimuscoliallospasimo ) informs them that if within three minutes do not they shut down the reactor, seal them with radioactive water because the pumps can no longer hold a double pressure.
In three minutes he expected a than minimal, Chuck go there, close the reactor and the end of the story, but NO!
wait until the last 60 seconds.
At that comes from asking: What the fuck did the other two minutes?!
In these 60 seconds that can not decide, Neville takes matters in hand and throws him into the water radioactive reducing their lives to one week, it will not even in the happiest manner possible. No, Neville, today is not just your lucky day. All the while Potter (more relative to the 'Boy Who Lived') and Chuck look well hidden behind a glass.
Meanwhile, in the country, we Nymphomaniac PopputaBabysitter and they're trying to defend themselves from the tornado as well because they have arrived in a city. Nymphomaniac PopputaBabysitter and lie down on the ground, hiding under a mattress and seems to go smoothly, the tornado rages, stuff flying, glass dancing, but they are safe. They had however come to terms with the humor of the Tornado, because, you know, tornadoes are great pranksters! So, while PopputaBabysitter out from his hiding recklessly, heedless of the warning alarmed Nymphomaniac, the tornadino accuatta it quietly to avoid being seen. PopputaBabysitter looks out the window where everything seems calm and in a stroke: CUCUSETTETE! Tornado suddenly reappears out by PopputaBabysitter havoc and killing him instantly.
Yes, I know also that the tornado I do not hide or pretend to be gone and then return suddenly. But andateglielo to say to writers.
Nymphomaniac, upset by the death of the love of his life killed even before birth, he is doing? He put the bike and run to reach his mother at the nuclear plant. But fear not! There is already PoliziottoFigo who is on his trail, while another tornado traveling alone for the campaigns.
the nuclear power plant, however, the sacrifice of Neville seems to pull just a momentary sigh of relief because even the water in the reactor appears to be sufficient to be able to control the bars exhausted (but never worn as I do for this continuing decline at the last moment XD). In his last drive, Neville suggests Chuck to water down the bars by the firemen.
So be it.
Firefighters arrive en masse, arm themselves with hoses and begin to pump water, but those are a handful of baby food and soft even after a few minutes they begin to faint ( * facepalm *) around the pool because it's too hot ( In short, even a minimum of stoicism, fuck that!). Meanwhile, its headquarters, located in the old power plant project It turns out there another pump that is no longer set in motion by 15 years.
The seat is put in contact with Manolo (nervitesimuscoliallospasimo) which then refers to Chuck who immediately goes looking for with the famous Pottah pump. Fila
smoothly?
But absolutely not!
The pump in question must require gasoline, and then sending a tanker.
The scene changes back to PoliziottoFigo and nymphomaniac who are going to the center by Chuck, always with 'tornado I'm in hot pursuit, when a man in the street, stop them by telling them that a car has fallen into the slope and into c' is a woman.
And who is she? But
FigliaDelCapo, Who else?! (The same as after only eight months of engagement breaks the fuck PoliziottoFigo because they have not set a wedding date! PoliziottoFigo Had I been in I would have left the cliff!)
PoliziottoFigo rushes to the rescue by lowering a rope, while the tornado gets closer. The passerby who had stopped at a certain, if it melts because it is a bit 'smarter than others and do not want to end up sucked into the tornado that now is really to spit (in theory should already have trample, but, in short, the plot does not have it, okay). It thus remains only to help the two Nymphomaniac pressing the button to rewind the rope and to ensure that our pair of lovebirds, immediately reconciled, to be saved.
"You have saved! Now you're finally a man! "He says with conviction PoliziottoFigo a Nymphomaniac (believe it as well), but Tornado has stopped to smoke a cigarette in the meantime ( Tornado :" Have you finished? "I have to go to infest another set! "- PoliziottoFigo : " Be patient, it is the script! "). After the tirade, the three mountains in the car and escaped the tornado. At that time Chuck
should liaise with PoliziottoFigo Nymphomaniac to know if he is well and to tell him they're waiting for a tanker that, surprisingly, does not arrive.
Look, look!
They had just passed a moment before I was not going to Central (the truck driver, not stupid, he thought well to beat it!).
and go! Romancing the tank!
PoliziottoFigo formal request to stop, the side by side, but nothing, the truck driver does not want to die (we always bring them the intelligent ones in these films, too bad they always have to pass for fools). Then PoliziottoFigo does what it is paid, ie the cool and exceeds the tank blocking the car in the middle of fermandocisi road and arms folded in front.
short, a bit 'to Tango & Cash, only that he is Ray Tango!
They do a little 'to the game-tifermi nontifermi surrenders and the truck driver, stopped the tanker and delivered it to him (or rather, PoliziottoFigo - who was a former truck driver - appropriates it) and can now run the unit for 'last effort of the film (thank God).
There, firefighters are now exhausted, faint all the time, they lose control of the hoses and they start playing Mister Wet T-shirt to cheer the arrival of the end. The bars are more and more exhausted, as viewers, but here comes PoliziottoFigo at full speed.
Excellent! Perfect! We did it!
Chuck sticks the hose to the pump to bring them to the gas station and everything is ready when there are only a handful of seconds before the water above the bars become too short and left uncovered.
Yeh! Yes! Yuhua!
...
you like, eh? * Grins *
The icing on the cake, the pump will not start.
Press one, press two, press three, none of it. Then
Chuck gives life to the little show sexy blouse is laid bare, hacking away at the gears of the pump messy grease and tries again.
Nothing is wrong.
Now came the end, seems that the whole city, all Tennessee, is intended to be blown away by radiation when Chuck pulls a deep sigh of Zen for the last time the struc Sock e. .. MAGIC! The pump starts to work miraculously, Tennessee is safe and the finished film! * _ *
Basically, what you expected?
Underneath this panel is really Hogwarts!
I really wanted to leave the scene where Neville and Chuck LOLlosissima said a Combined "She 'Shut up, Potter!" , but unfortunately I could not find it, PERO'!, I found that one of nymphomania and PopputaBabysitter play 'Twister'! Admiring the baby-faced pervert XD
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