And finally the moment has arrived! It begins with the famous list of catastrophic film!
impressions are, as always, share with you all because it is wrong to deny others what for me has been a source of maxima LOL imperishable. XD
Then follow the path of the cut and enjoy!
I could not beginning with him, would be a sacrilege! I had woven so many ... um ...
, which I could not fail to see it and then comment on it first.
This song I discovered by accident several months ago, I searched around but, incredibly, I had not found. Then, the streets of the Internet are endless and
* * ZAKK
the bill even in Italian (the wonders possible, so that there is already impossible 'movie I am XD). When I talked to
"Huzi" , Eos said: "sounds like a disaster movie, not a disaster film ". XD words were never truer.
We have something for everyone, Ladies and Signora! Where do we start?! From theory absurd?! more obscene by the special effects of the world?! From eruptive
paradoxes?!
From the fact that Rome is destroyed by the combined (apperò!) of Vesuvius (which is in Campania!) And Etna (which is in Sicily and is known to be a volcano esplosivissimo. Oh, right!)? ! * v * 's like shooting on the Red Cross! So we have this group of saviors of the world, scientists who carry out their research despising danger and composed of: - Profsofigomamiamogliem'hamollatoperchéacasanonc'eromaieleis'erarottaicoglionimaehi, baby! èilmiolavoroepoil'hogiàdettochesonofigo? - DestinatoAMorire1
- DestinatoAMorire2
- AssistenteInutile
- ZelanteScassacazziCheFingeDiNonProvarciColProfMaCheSottoSottoDu'Bottarelle ... The
Profsofigomasfigato
like him as a pole planted in the ass and put to sea. Permanently with the air of premenstrual syndrome, appears in a scene explaining what is philosophically obscene volcanology his students (with some jokes so deficient that I would have kicked XD, but so much so, he is the Figo - \\ O / with the belly! You can not be cool volcanologist with the belly! Get on a diet!). His wife has given up but he goes for a walk and aaaaaaaaama faith around his neck was not even dead (* MoglieDeficiente you a scratching *). It has a
AssistenteInutile
whose sole job is to start behind
ZelanteScassacazzi
to which the wire. We then
DestinatoAMorire
1 & 2 that ... XD Well you can well understand the end they do, then they may be relevant to the plot.
Of course, like any disaster movie, it starts with a drama-event that opens the way for the drama-events future. We are located in Iceland, a group of GeologiSacrificali (please, we're already in danger of extinction of our own, we could avoid wasting? Grace) is on this volcano, according to a group: " What a bore! This volcano is
off (sic) years! That beard, how boring, how boring, that beard. " Needless to say the Scazzi Volcano and decides to erupt. All this happens in ten seconds, with earthquakes in deferred inside the crater. Yes, yes, deferred.
Off to clay: Oh God! Scosseeeee! Inside the crater : chirp the birds and everything is peaceful. The volcano erupts in less than five minutes, call the GeologiSacrificali air rescue (and I must say that those of the rescue have a lot to do: play cards), of course, will come when it is too late: the eruption (with the lava more fluid I've ever seen XD, n'altro bit 'is LIQUID!) has already made them all out. Amen. Small digression on the first eruption paradox. Just the fact that the tremors come in deferred LOL is something in itself, then, boh, the eruption takes place inside the crater but they are not dead NOW is the first paradox. It almost seems that the eruption has moved elsewhere. The second paradox is ... the formation of an eruption cloud above a rash that, practically, is poured out (since it comes after two seconds' is supersonic lava that makes four geologists flambé at once). eruption cloud and effusive eruptions are terms that can not coexist: either there is or there is the other. Because the formation of an eruption cloud is a result of explosive eruptions, as a first step, can mutate into forms and have the most effusive lava flow. Together, NO. Noooooo! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Chiariamolo once and for all, because 'I'm paradox will be our companion throughout the film.
Ok, back to us.
Two days later, Profsofigomasfigato part with a team to go see another volcano in Iceland (yes, you have so much shit when the fuck is Eyja erupted, this one instead, which also raised the universe known and unknown, not even a word. And it goes well).
First observation: that strange, volcanoes are the same. XD They could also wasted a recreate a bit 'more different, eh! Our
GruppoDellaSperanza (chemuoiano)
goes on patrol descending into the crater all the jocks with slings. The objective of Profsofigomasfigato is to demonstrate that the volcano is older than local scholars say. As such it is not, is DestinatoAMorire1 - behold! - An Ammonite (fossil creature dating from the Devonian, 410milioni years ago).
\\ O / Ohhhh! Profsofigomasfigato obviously had raggggggione!
second observation is that being inside the crater there is the smell of 'rotten eggs', as DestinatoAMorire1 wisely points out, means that the volcano was active and still is, therefore, being active, the crater walls are a succession of all the eruptions that have taken place over time, ergo ... I mean how the fuck DO YOU FIND an ammonite?! '_'
What you hear on the surface represents products that are in the magma chamber and along the duct, an ammonite fossil found perfectly preserved in this mess is the biggest hit of dell'UniversoMondo ass! In
while everyone celebrates the victory of Profsofigomasfigato, needless to say, the volcano wakes up (but if there was a sulfur smell was already awake, mah).
DestinatoAMorire2 called the Icelandic Air Patrol while engaged in hard work (to play solitaire to the PC) and:
"Five minutes and we're there" ...
shit, had also said earlier eruption and were all dead, but 'sti volcanoes are all stuck?! Or five minutes is the time to ensure that those standards Crepin so members can return to play-rescue ... er, to engage in their hard work? But as the
GruppoDellaSperanza (chemuoiano) are the main characters are saved, but, / O \\ that sin, the Ammonite is lost (ie, the bucket DestinatoAMorire1 was to get us ahead of time to get it 'is shit' s ammonite and loses it as well?! A genius)! Nothing Amaro Montenegro for them. The eruption is compared to that of Mount Pinatubo. Now. Besides the usual paradox
Cloud / Lava, if indeed that had been like the Pinatubo eruption, the GruppoDellaSperanza (chemuoiano) would be dead serious.
there's more, we go!
the return trip home, ZelanteScassacazzi attack button with Profsofigomasfigato starting to get a package of his cock:
"But it is true that it is divorced? But I want to talk? But she is very beautiful! But have you ever tried to call you? But he knows he has to apologize? "
... But you know that you must learn to get three quarters of your cock?! '_'
I would have said so, but makes Profsofigomasfigato cool as usual (this is paid for!) And tries to change the subject talking about volcanoes. In the meantime, he has obviously already know what's going on, not stupid, it's Cool!
Worldwide, there are volcanic chain: 5 in Iceland (and if all of the power of Pinatubo, we can say farewell to Iceland), South America and so on. And anyone who thinks
"Mh, maybe there's something wrong!"
, but of course we Figo, which has the already thought of him.
All disasters are linked together according to the theory put forward by Professor Exodus of Profsofigomasfigato, to which everyone laughed at him (and even me!).
What is theory? In practice the radiation emitted by man (and Berlusconi wants to open the central well of us, AHE, we're right!) Have increased the temperature of the Earth's core which is expanding (Profsofigomasfigato: "Nature is telling us something ... "
. Nature:
" Mariiiiiiia, how many stronzaaaaaaate "
) and increases the activity on the surface.
Profsofigomasfigato goes immediately to tell those in Washington and here comes GeologoIntelligenteMaCostrettoAdEssereInvidiosoECattivo, a former companion of our hero. GeologoIntelligente wastes no time in saying "Why shoot rubbish, son?" (and we ask him too!)
"Volcanoes give notice, not erupt in five minutes."
(effinalmente someone reasons!) and much more intelligent.
But, of course, this is a disaster film, and then must overcome the paradox: he is right and Profsofigomasfigato GeologoIntelligente rode so bad, the car behind our hero and steals the data, saying that the theory is its Exodus (Mah .. there was an intelligent and we lost). Meanwhile, Profsosfigatoperprimo of Profsofigomasfigato, confined to a wheelchair for 12 years, he went to Japan in the Fuji (YEPPA! There he is!), because he knows that must erupt and wants to be first in line to see it. Accompanied by his faithful GeoBadante who could be his daughter and a hair color done by a hairdresser filled with acids, he goes into a typical Japanese house, with sliding doors, the carp pond and n'assistente GeoGiappa dressed as na 'geisha named Kenobi (Obi Wan and last name. This I have just served! * giggles *). So that leaves one wondering whether it is going to shut themselves up in a brothel, rather than in a house to study the eruption (because, you know, all GeoGiappe walk around with kimono and hair superacconciati, tsk!). Enjoying the lake of carp, the Fuji erupts debbotto raising an eruption cloud which defies the laws of the current high altitude, creating immediately a shower of lapilli (went a bit 'in a hurry, even if they had dropped bombs do not would have done more! Anyway, here come into play more mythical MerdEffects: very clear, in the frame outside, you see the rain of lapilli, but when they see Profsosfigatoperprimo and its GeoBadante that - from the inside - look at the landscape outside The rain of lapilli is fully retractable.) and a pyroclastic flow that kills two. After the eruption instead Fuji and the surrounding area is a hole.
ParadossiEruttivi are back: the cloud that challenges the current high altitude (poor jets, snubbed it T_T) and the rain of lapilli that shatters the bombs have already spoken. There remains the pyroclastic flow that ... there has never been in the eruptive history of Fuji. But here we are always on the edge of reality, then anything can happen, even that leaves a hole Fuji Honshu. content ourselves. In all this, Profsofigomasfigato went to Colombia, Pasto, seeing as there shall eruptive activity. And pasta and Galeras is not close to that piece of shit, but not quibble. The GruppoDellaSperanza (chemuoiano) is set inside a mine, abandoned in haste by the sudden appearance of the lava. DestinatoAMorire2 remains at the exit to monitor seismic activity (call it silly), while the other four going to take samples of rocks ... no, now: so that there is lava ... TAKE THE ROCK THAT SHIT COLD!? TAKE THE SAMPLE LAVA, you idiot! The four running through underground tunnels and cunicoletti reaching the point where there is this emergence of lava and all there:
"Ohhhhh"
. They do what they must do and DestinatoAMorire2 says to move because the activity is increasing.
Profsofigomasfigato ZelanteScassacazzi and come back first, while AssistenteInutile DestinatoAMorire1 and continue to be sampled. While the latter two are coming back, foot down DestinatoAMorire1: "But these passages are not marked on the map! Accidempolina "
AssistenteInutile replied briskly:
" But what do you care? "
At that moment, the fate lies in wait, and over the head of DestinatoAMorire1 we see a crack in the ceiling where Gently, gently the lava begins to slip (do not ask why now comes down the lava if the fracture was already there. These are not questions which must be to force an answer, like many others in this movie XD). And there, before a crapped out lava face DestinatoAMorire1 latter has the latest twist, the final insight that he will die accompanied by a burst of laughter
"I understand! This is not a normal gallery! This ... LAVA is a gallery. " Genius! * O *
shame that the lava tubes are not formed overnight, especially not put yourself electrical wiring with lights and rope handrail (the voice you hear in the distance Lava humming: "Hey-oh! Hey-oh! Let's go to work! "), then, the tunnels were to stay there for a while 'of time and then, again, the miners would have already found due on maps and mapping. Instead, here they seem to have sprung out of nowhere, alone.
Yes, all together: The Paradoxes of eruptive activity. short, DestinatoAMorire1 dies burned alive by lava, AssistenteInutile it burns a bit, 'but there's just Profsofigomasfigato ZelanteScassacazzi and to save his life. And here, while they are to go up the elevator that will bring all to safety, Profsofigomasfigato pulls out all her good heart and despair of having lost one of his students "He 's gone. Let's move! "
... What TOUCH! T_T I moved
T ^ T But our hero does not lose heart, and once outside the hospital and bring AssistenteInutile while waiting to know his condition, here comes the bombshell and shocking! Rome! Rome was destroyed by the eruption of Vesuvius and Etna * nods seriously *, joined against the capital!
Bravi.
No, I say, good. For this shit is fire applause, they could not do better. \\ O / But still!
but there were so 'so many options! I mean fuck C'Entro VESUVIUS?! I would have understood the Campi Flegrei, MA VESUVIUS! Since Rome and Naples?!
and Mount Etna?! The ETNA
?!?!?!
VOLCANO ITALIAN MORE 'Pacios THAT THERE'! It only effusive eruptions
T_T, at most Strombolian, but how the hell do I get to destroy Rome?!
T_____T And to think ... and say that ... LAZIO THAT HAS ITS VOLCANOES! SUFFICIENT TO THOSE Eruption! Or you could erupt
to the Vavilov and Marsili, as tsunami waves rose and destroyed half the coastline of Italy!
Mela * rubs his temples: Paradoxes eruptive, eruptive Paradoxes are only *
Profsofigomasfigato returned to Washington determined to take matters in hand and talk with the President. Here is GeologoIntelligente ZelanteScassacazzi crapped by calling him Mr. Plagiarism (?) And compares what is happening in the nucleus of a hamburger indigestion (eh?! O_o) but this allows the President of the United States to understand what is happening (a bunch of idiots).
"What do we do?"
Question the President, who does not know that Big Mac hamburger and seize between MacChiken, but fortunately, our hero has the solution! The solution
BRILLIANT! The solution
solutions!
"pricked the ocean floor to vent the lava and ease the pressure of the nucleus " Ok, great man, and with what?
"With nuclear missiles!" ...
But all was not started by the radiation emitted by the man who had been raising blabla blabla-
"Please! They had to end this shit with fucked up even bigger! " Sorry, I had not thought of. u_u
Together, working with other countries in the world (of course, in emergencies, caring, and suddenly all become very good friends: RussiaAmericaCina all cooperative, that ass) prepare the plan, but, hey, not all. For
be implemented in the best two of the three remaining (DestinatoAMorire1 died, AssistenteIntelligente is in the hospital) should get the two submarines that launch the attack: one in the Pacific and one Atlantic. Being a large rider Profsofigomasfigato, arbitrarily decides to send himself and DestinatoAMorire2 while ZelanteScassacazzi will act as a bridge to Washington. Meanwhile, Profsofigomasfigato MoglieDeficiente and stain to the call in three thousand apologies, that the fault is his, he should not go around, here and there, which no longer exists the change of seasons that were better when were worse. Among the various bullshit he says even that's not really safe to stay in Yellowstone where MoglieDeficiente is the guardian of the park, but she, with all its replication deficiency:
"Maffigurati erupts when the park!"
words .. . volcanoes around the world are making havoc with the eruptions in the chain and you come to say that it is impossible for the Yellowstone erupts, which is - let's not forget - on the largest caldera in the world, a place of supervolcano and if it were to be itching to get putacaso ass erupt and destroy the United States of America? Obviously, she is not the only idiot, and in the park people still go there as if the rest of the world was going on a massacre of immense proportions and was not going to all fanculandia. But MoglieDeficiente, who had come without the doubt that had forseforse Profsofigomasfigato Ragone, begins to evacuate visitors (and do not miss the gem of the two who trumpet in a tent! That is beautiful but useless!). As predicted by our hero while he is on a trip with a submarine, Yellowstone erupts. The more cracked possible.
The only volcano that was erupting explosively, he pulls out a half-fetecchia suddenly (with the jets that are replaced by the geyser of lava fountains) and then, way effusion molten lava that kills people, breaks things, but MoglieDeficiente, being married to Profsofigomasfigato, could not die!
So while you see the lava advancing at the same time, our hero launches nuclear missiles, and everything magically stops: the lava vents, on the surface does not come out again and so on. Even DestinatoAMorire2 shine its cartridges, but since its end already established, here is a sudden collapse of the rocks on the submarine was severely damaged and goes into depth, along with all its crew (a rock sinking the submarine; up to Profsofigomasfigato I have fallen hundreds or even a scratch. Just to let you out).
So, feel-good discourse and philosophical PresidenteHamburger
that says "Siiiii, we must go on! We must all be united! It will not be easy but we we'll make it! "
and the image of a changing world, transforming the land into huge pieces of the puzzle, you arrive at the conclusion of the movie where Profsofigomasfigato MoglieDeficiente and have finally decided to make peace and return together (Profsofigomasfigato has also refused the post because GeologoIntelligente all'USGS sottosotto is a communist and does not want becoming subject to the state!). And they all lived radioactive and happy.
** Is not it wonderful that?! * Blink *
XD tell me how did I not die of laughter!
** And now, here also the trailer!
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